Running

Running. Where do I even begin with the act, the sport of running. Much less how it extends to all facets of my life. I have had the ultimate love-hate relationship with running all of my life, what runner hasn’t. When I was young (like jr. high) I was all about it and it was easy. I never loved it but I was dedicated and in my mind I was running my way right into an esteemed spot in high school athletics, which was in fact the only thing in life that mattered at that point. Then I got into high school and had obtained that “esteemed spot” I had always worked so hard for. But I hated running and I did any and everything I could to get out of it. I was running so I could play basketball and because I had to and that was about it. Keep in mind I’ve never been a good runner, and still am not. It’s just always kinda been there in the picture somehow. Cross country and track were supposed to be mandatory for basketball players at my school but I think all but my freshman year I finessed my way out of that. I was a ball player, not a runner. Then something happened my senior year and still to this day I’m not sure what but I started running. At that time, I started running solely to lose weight. I still hated it but I did it. Nothing crazy, just a mile or so before I lifted a few times a week. But that slowly, over the span of a few years, turned into a real love and if nothing else, respect for the sport. College was the peak of my running life. I was up early at the track in the dark before anyone got to the Junell, speed running, trying to clock the fastest mile possible. Or I was out long running, logging 4 to 6 miles multiple times a week. Or I was somewhere in between but I was running. I even at one point considered walking on to the cross country team at ASU and becoming a dual-athlete. I was crushing goals and I was lovingggg it. But remember where I said that all sparked, trying to get skinny. That was always a recipe for disaster. I mean I got skinny, real thin. And ultimately I did fall in love with running. But just like so many other things in my life that became collateral damage in the wake of unhealthy metal and physical habits around fitness and food, running became the enemy. Running became punishment rather than joy. Missing a run was unacceptable and if I didn’t eat right or follow my strict rules you better bet we were adding another run or mile to make up for it. That gets exhausting in a lot of ways really fast. So there I was again, starting to “hate” something that I actually really loved a lot but was blinded by other things going on in my life. Needless to say, I stopped. And for a couple years I ran little to no miles. I still loved and treasured running but I wasn’t doing it very often at all because I was trying to get healthy and scared of taking steps backwards. However, this past year or so, slowly but surely the Lord has really redeemed running for me and allowed me to find a lot of joy in it again. I started running a little sometime last year. Not far. A mile, or two, or three. Whatever felt good. I didn’t start my watch workout. I didn’t even take music to listen to. I didn’t care how far or fast I was going and I really had no goals in it, other than to enjoy the act and enjoy the Lord in it. It became a really sweet release where I didn’t have to think so much and I could connect with the Lord. I still wasn’t running a lot, just here and there and that was good enough for me. Then I left for the World Race and well, I don’t have TruFit right down the street 24/7 and ya girl needs some physical activity to stay sane. So, I started running a little more, then a little more and more. I’ve been really blessed with a couple girls on my squad who love running way more than me and have become the sweetest running buddies. Back in Guatemala is where I really got hype for running again and desiring to do more and go further. Which is truly the mindset I love being in and makes me feel the most like myself. It was fun and exciting again and I love getting to explore the places we’re living in by running them. So I was running again and loving it again, still am! Somewhere along the way we got the idea of running a half marathon planted in our heads and then somehow we actually managed to find a race and proceed to run in it and that brings us to today. I’m currently writing this blog on the couch of our Airbnb in Albania, two days post race and very very sore and tired. That’s because my friend Mak and I RAN A HALF MARATHON IN POGRADEC, ALBANIA!!!!! WHAT!!! I didn’t even know that was a dream of mine but hey here we are, dream come true. We were able to train for a little while before the race, but it was definitely one of the more challenging things I’ve ever done, and I couldn’t be more happy that I did it.

Running is such a mental sport and it has so much to teach us about life, it sure has taught me a lot. This next part is going to be an attempt at trying to express some of the lessons I have learned through running:

• “Y’all have to learn to be okay with being uncomfortable for a few minutes.” One of my high school coaches once told us this on an early morning run and I have never forgotten it and I also call it to mind so often in my life (and runs lol). As I have stepped into deeper waters with God and honestly just stepped out into more of life, this statement becomes more and more honest. Comfort isn’t a bad thing, and after this year I know I will be more grateful for it than ever. But, if you never allow yourself to get out of your comfort zone, physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually, you will miss out on a lot of joy and a lot of life. We live in a Western world where the American dream, built on comfort and security, rules in our hearts and minds. And again, those things aren’t bad. But they sure aren’t ultimate and all the suspected fulfillment in having all the money, things, time, pleasure, people, etc. will leave you empty and wanting more time and time again. Discomfort is a gift just as much as comfort is, especially if comfort is your normal. The thing about running is that you are often times putting yourself in a state of discomfort on purpose with the expectation that at the end of it you will be better. A better runner sure, but a better person as a whole. We have tons of choices daily and if we aren’t choosing some of the things that scare us to death and could potentially leave us with a lack of comfort for a moment but in the end leave us better and stronger, than we need to start choosing some of those things. One of my friends has a tattoo that says ‘seek discomfort’ and I love it. Life is meant to be enjoyed but sometimes we need to walk through really tough seasons (whether on purpose or not) in order to get to the other side and find that it was all worth it.
• Sometimes you run really fast and feel really good, other times you feel like 1000 pounds and would be content stopping and never running again. Running different runs or long runs will teach you this so quick. You go through so many different stages in running. Sometimes you feel on top of the world and like you could go forever. Sometimes you’re certain you can’t even finish a mile. Amen. But at the end of the day you keep running. Runners care a lot about pace and distance and all these stats and they’re good stats and they keep us moving forward and getting better. But, what is more important than all the details of our runs, or days, or lives, is that we are still running. We are still living, still moving forward. Some days, or seasons, or years we feel like we have no reason to keep going but we do even if is slow and painful. Some days, or seasons, or years we feel unbreakable and strong and happy and we praise those seasons. But the reality is that the horrible run and the best run equally make the runner stronger. Actually, the horrible run probably served them way more than the best run. The most important thing about a runner is that they keep running. The most important thing about a person is that they keep moving forward, keep going.
• Once a runner, always a runner. Like I said earlier, running has always been a part of my story. Whether I was running or not, loving or hating it, I was a runner. It’s not something that ever leaves you. Same with life. Same with people. Maybe sometimes we hate living or we love it. Maybe we feel like we’re doing our peak living or not living at all but you just kinda keep living. Simple, yet important.
• Sometimes you actually need to take a day or two off and not run. I am an all or nothing kind of girl. It’s a gift and a curse. But if there is one thing I have learned from all these years running and being in the gym, it’s that your body and mind need to rest and if you fail to let them then you are doing yourself a disgrace and making yourself unhealthy. Now there is a difference in rest and idleness, sure. But if you aren’t letting yourself recover so that you can go work hard again, you will never be performing to your best ability. Sometimes rest is actually harder for us (or at least me) than it is to just keep pushing, do it anyway. Rest looks different for different people. Find what it is for you and prioritize it in your life, it is crazy how drastically your life shifts when you move from a place of rest.
• Our bodies are freaking insaneeeeee. The lengths that you can push your body to is so much further than you would ever be willing to imagine. One of my favorite things in life is pushing my body to new lengths and then being so shocked when it shows up. Our bodies and minds are so intricately and uniquely designed. They are each ridiculously strong, complex, and purposeful and when I think about these things too long it forces me to wonder and awe at a God that literally created them from dust. Some people say that you can’t look at the mountains or the ocean and say that there isn’t a God. I agree, but I also say you can’t look at the human body or the mind and say that there isn’t a God. It is mind blowing (haha) the things that we are capable of. Over and over I am thankful for a healthy body and the ability to push new limits and praise the God who made me when I do it.
• Running is one of those unique sports that is individual and team. Nobody can get out and run for you and nobody can convince you to push a little harder in that last stretch to the finish, but they can run alongside you and cheer you on and do it with you. Life is so similar. I am an introvert by nature and have grown up being very independent. I don’t like to need people, but that doesn’t change the fact that I do. It doesn’t change the fact that we were created to do life together, not alone. There are some things in our life that nobody can do or fix for us, things that we have to show up for all by ourselves. But in those things you need people to walk alongside you and even though they may be helpless to do anything other than be there, that is enough. Community is so essential to a full life. Our value or worth will never be found in other people and you can never expect people to carry that burden, but there is something beautiful when individuals come together to champion and genuinely love each other regardless of anything. We run alone, but together.
• “Todo es mental” (everything is mental). This started as a joke in Guatemala. When we complain about how hot it was in Poptun, one of our friends there would joke that “todo es mental” and then I’d proceed to say “you right, hace frio” when it was in fact not hace frio at all. It was all fun and games but it is honestly so true. Just about everything is mental, at least to some extent, especially running. It’s all a mental game getting yourself out the door to run, to keep going once you start, and to do it again tomorrow. The way you talk to yourself when you run (and live) will dictate the way things go for you. If you’re always telling yourself you’re a failure, well then you probably will be. Or if you tell yourself that you are the best and no one is better than you, well then you’re probably that guy too. The mind is powerful. Sometimes your mind is ready to run but your body is not, or vice versa. You mind and body are connected and while some days it can just be an off day, it is crucial to make sure that you are holistically healthy. So many physical struggles I have or have had stem from my mind being unhealthy. If your mind is out of whack then it all will be. It’s important to care for your mind, and in doing so caring for every other part of you and the people around you.
• The start is exciting, the finish is thrilling, but all the good stuff is in the middle of the run. We place a lot of weight on starting new things or finishing things we’ve been working on forever but we forget to appreciate all the miles in between. There will always be another start line and another finish line, but the work of the run to get to those, the work of today, is the best part of it all. Run the mile you’re in is such a cheesy saying but it’s not wrong. Run the mile you’re in. Live the life that you’re in right now before it’s gone and you miss it all!

Okay I’m done, thanks for coming to my ted talk. This was probably for me more than for anyone else but hey who knows. Thanking God this morning for running and for life and for all the lessons and for the role that running and fitness has played in my life! Enjoy some pics from the race…

In other news, we are in Albania now! My team Bible Bumz and I are in a town called Pogradec. It’s a cute and quaint little lake town in the mountains, the people are so kind, and we love it! It’s a breath of fresh air coming off of a really hard month or so prior to now! We are in another month of ATL here which means no host or set ministry and a whole lot of prayer! We are really excited for this month because we feel like the Lord is guiding us into a season of deeper dependence on Him as well as deeper communion with Him and as a team. It has been so sweet already. We are also searching for churches or connections with people who we can partner with and serve in our time here. We aren’t sure what that will look like yet but we are excited about some new people we met around town and at our race this weekend. The longer we’re here, the more we are believing that the Lord used running and this half marathon excursion to bring us here for something bigger! Please be praying that the Lord will guide our teams this month and that we can be very intentional at hearing and knowing His voice, but also resting in Him and trusting Him with everything that is out of our control (which is pretty much everything).

I love y’all! We are really entering into the last stretch of this thing now! I long to be home so bad most days but I am stoked to finish this thing out strong and see how the Lord uses it these last few months! Thank you for continuing to love and support me from home. Even the smallest bit of love and encouragement from home brings me so much joy!!!!

Jesús te ama

xoxo Tay <3