Run the Race (even when you want to run away)

Hi friends!

Welcome to my attempt at putting to words some of my thoughts and experiences from the past few weeks.

Earlier this week we moved ministries for the first time. We said a very hard goodbye to Mission of Hope on Monday. We spent our first 8 weeks on the field at MOH and during our time there we created so many sweet relationships and memories that were definitely tough to leave. We also split up teams so we are currently not with the other half of our squad. Lots of transition has taken place in the last couple weeks but I am so thankful for the time we got at MOH and all the learning and growth that came with working alongside of them. Mission of Hope had begun to feel like home and like family and even though it was sad to leave I am so excited for what is to come. Here are a few pics of the people and moments that made the start of our race so so special –>

As we shifted into a new dynamic as a team and into a new ministry, I was struggling quite a bit mentally. No part of me wanted to leave MOH and if we had to I honestly just wanted to go home. Homesickness is real and it has been hitting hard recently. I miss my people back home a ton of course, but what I realized about my homesickness is that it’s less about people or places and more about comfort and routine. As we left what had become comfortable and routine it felt like leaving home again but being stripped of even more in a way. Needless to say, I wasn’t a fan. Our first couple days here at our new location we were all dragging and adjusting but in the midst of sadness and weariness, the Lord met me. I had no desire to talk to anyone or read or really do anything but I found myself flipping to a familiar Psalm 34. This Psalm has been a great comfort to me in some of my hardest seasons and I always find myself coming back to it when things get challenging. I really just wanted a pick me up but to my surprise I found something new. Right after the well known “taste and see that the Lord is good” comes the line that struck me; “Blessed is the one who takes refuge in Him.” My response to change and discomfort is typically to resist it, my instinct is to run and hide from it. In my moment of feeling loss and grief I wanted to run but as I sat in the discomfort and read this verse I was gently reminded that maybe it is okay to run. Run to the One who comforts, the One who holds all this mess of a life in the palm of His hand. “Blessed is the one who takes refuge in Him.” I was reminded that God is my refuge and there is blessing and great joy in that. Things don’t always have to be great or comfortable, and they won’t be, but when the hard comes there is a safe space that I can run to for peace and rest. I can keep running the race because I have a helper to guide me through. Learning how to lean into God in new and deeper ways is a daily lesson, and it’s often frustrating for me, but seeing Him meet me in the midst of a mess and hold my hand through it was the type of loving move that only a Good Father would make.

We are now at a ministry called Hope Mountain which is near Puerto Plata, Dominican Republic. We will be here for a couple more weeks before we head off to Guatemala on April 10! Our ministry time here is a little bit more relaxed. We will mainly be working on the property getting some things cleaned up and just spending time with the family and helping them with day to day things. Life is ministry and ministry is life ya know. I think being here will be a good change of pace for our team. We have been going petal to the metal the past couple months and having the opportunity to slow down and really pour into each other, the Lord, and our hosts is going to be a sweet time. I am (now) very excited to be here. The views are insane, we are already becoming friends with our hosts, and I know the Lord is working in me and my team while we’re here. I am thankful to be right where I am. Thanks God.

*Bonus read*

Some things I’ve been learning on the race so far:

– I don’t have to pretend to be anyone other than myself just to receive or feel loved by others.

– Sometimes you have to tear down, rebuild, or remodel and you have to get rid of the old before you can bring in and build up the new (thanks MOH constructions projects)

– Give more than you get

– God is bigger than our limitations (language, culture, religion)

– Humility – God is capable, not me. My capabilities are from and for and through God.

– Life looks wayyyyyy different from a place of more rest

– Faith is a ✨process✨

– Spanish is hard but we’re learning

Okay that’s all for now! In the gritty, messy, hard AND in the joy, growth, excitement God is good and there is no where I’d rather be than here. I miss home and I miss y’all but there’s still not even a sliver of doubt that I’m right where I’m supposed to be. Thank you all for loving me and supporting me in this season and journey. Please be praying for our teams as we go about ministry and as we prepare to go to our next country soon. I love hearing from home so if anyone ever needs anything or just wants to say hi you know how to reach me! I love y’all!!!!

Jesús te ama

xoxo Tay <3