Howdy, Howdy! (I'm ready to be back in Texas, if you can't tell ;))

The Lord has been stirring something in my heart for a little while and it really came to a head this past week at ministry. All the way back in Eswatini, the Lord let me see that I had become pretty lazy and complacent with Him. I started the race so hungry for Him and was really seeing the fruit of growing in relationship with Him and somewhere along the way I just got lazy and comfortable. Or I got uncomfortable and then tapped out, I don't really know. Regardless, I hated that that's where I was at and I've been trying to figure out how to continue fanning the flame of my faith for awhile now, and it's been a struggle. I couldn't figure out why I was having trouble connecting with the Lord or feeling His presence and this past week or so He starting convicting me and helping me see the why.

Simply put, I've been so easily distracted from the Lord by the shiny things of the world. I was still longing for more, but not doing much about it. There was this underlying feeling that Lord kept bringing up in me and He was subtly showing me that I had started choosing other things over Him, gross. Then, this past Friday rolled around and something crazy happened with one of our groups while we were doing ministry at the local schools. The Lord moved in a really powerful way through the message they spoke to the kids and at the end, a little girl wound up being delivered from demonic spirits and gave her life to the Lord. They came back a little bit in shock from what had just went down and weren't slow at retelling the story to us who were at a different school at the time. It was the type of story that is easy to scoff at because most of us have so little experience with that type of stuff. Honestly, if it weren't my people who came back telling me what had happened, I might not have believed it either. Most my life, and especially these past couple of years as I've gone deeper with the Lord, it's been so natural for me to be skeptical or critical of stories of demons being cast out or people being healed. I want to believe it all so bad, but it's hard for me to. I tend to be really ignorant or oblivious to the spiritual world and the spiritual battle that is waging all around us, all the time.

The Lord really used that morning, even though I wasn't even one of the ones there to experience it first hand, to open my eyes and convict my heart. There is a nasty battle going on and the enemy wants to steal, kill, and destroy (John 10:10) everything that is good. Your life and mine are included in that. There are no sidelines to this war, we are all in it whether we realize it or not and whether we want to be or not. It's your choice what you do about it though. One of my friends said earlier, "gotta be aggressively sending shots at the enemy, not passively receiving them from him." You're either fighting or you're getting beat and bamboozled.

In my head, this connected to what I mentioned earlier that the Lord had been speaking to me all week. I've been caught in distraction and complacency and that is where the enemy wants me. On the "sidelines" even though the sideline offers no rest and will ultimately end in defeat. In the battle for my mind and my life, I've been sitting back acting like it's nothing and I'm good, no wonder it's hard to find purpose and fulfillment. The world leaves us dry and empty and wanting every single time. Think about all the things that come into your mind on a day to day basis. Whether it's music or tv, books, social media, the news, even words from your friends and family. There is so much constantly vying for our attention and so little of it is rooted in the truth of God. We don't even think to combat it half the time because we don't even realize what's happening. It's so normal in our day and age but everything we see or hear affects our heart and our heart is the wellspring of life, it has to be protected (Proverbs 4:23). How can I see or hear God if all I'm watching and listening to is the world?

John 10:3-5 says this; "The sheep listen to His voice... His sheep follow Him because they know His voice. But they will never follow a stranger; in fact, they will run away from him because they do not recognize a stranger's voice." Our lives are bombarded with the voice of strangers; the news, social media, entertainment, etc. Everywhere we look there is information or words coming at us that aren't from God. The devil is crafty. He uses "innocent" and even really good things and corrupts them and then feeds it to us with a silver spoon. And how often do we, I, take the bait?! The Lord is telling me, and I am telling you, cleanse your hands of the world, whatever that needs to look like for you personally. Listen to the voice of God and run away from all the others. "Submit yourselves to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Come near to God and He will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, purify your hearts you double-minded." (James 4:7-8). That is a blunt verse, take is as loving encouragement, nothing less.

The war is waging, and we're in it. I want my life to be on the front lines for Christ, or behind the scenes for Christ. I don't really care where He puts me, I just know that as long as I'm with Him my life is full. The second half of the verse I quoted earlier about the devil coming to steal, kill, and destroy is this, "I [Jesus] have come so that they may have life, and have it in full." I was reading in Ephesians 6 this morning, the passage that talks about spiritual armor, I would encourage you to read it also. The beginning reads, "Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stands against the devil's schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world, and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms (v. 11-12). How oblivious we are to the spiritual war even when it's so obvious if we just take a second to stop and look around, evil is all around us! This passage reminded me that soldiers don't just step into the battlefield. They prepare. They are heavily and strictly trained for war. Same for you and I, we can't just step into the spiritual fight simply because we're aware of it. We have to be trained by the Lord and suited in the full armor that He provides. I know the Lord has been training and refining me in ways that I can't even see, and even in seasons of rebellion or complacency, He has been at work. He fights the battle before us and He is victorious always. If you've been in church long, you've heard that so much that it might sound cheesy at this point. But when you take a step back and see the bigger picture of what is going on around us, it's the most encouraging truth. As we prepare for battle and learn to fight, we know our result is victory and our reward is in Heaven with our King.

I'm kind of on a high and today it's been easy to write these words and feel so on fire and ready to GOOOO. But I know that when tomorrow morning rolls around, I will have to choose it again, and again the next day, and the next, and the next. The war wages on and we have to be strengthened in the Lord and diligent to get up and fight every single day, especially the ones where we don't feel like it. Don't let the devil have a foothold in your life. Hallelujah. Amen.

Jesús te ama

xoxo, Tay <3